By Myra Salzer
“You can do it!“
“Go for it!”
“No pain, no gain!”
“Try something new every day!”
“Growth only happens when you do something you are afraid to do!”
Poppycock and balderdash! I’m not buying it. What about the value of static enjoyment? Is it really necessary to constantly grow and stretch, and test one’s limits? I don’t think so! In fact, my immediate near-term goals are to learn the art of saying NO, as in
“No, I won’t join that board seat.”
“No, I have no interest in going to that party.”
“No, I’m not willing to take the time to go shopping in hopes of finding that perfect gift for that distant cousin with whom I haven’t spoken for two years.”
“No, I don’t want to go out drinking.”
“No, I’m not going to read that book that I have no interest in just because so-and-so gave it to me.”
“No, I will not work with that potential client who doesn’t seem to appreciate the potential of what we can do for her.”
“No, I’m not going to continue to give to that charity just because I’ve done so in the past.”
“No, I am not going to deny myself an occasional cookie.”
“No, I’m not going to beat myself up if I miss a day of working out.”
“No, I’m not going to allow myself to be consumed with worry about what other people think of me.”
“No, I won’t download additional apps. I will not buy appliances that require apps, and if there is an app I decide I want, I will delete an existing app before I download it.”
“No, I will not spend time with negative people or people who bring me down.”
No, No, No, No.
Ah, music to my ears. Every “no” allows me to say “yes” to what really matters to me. My goal going forward is to be discerning – of my time, my focus, my enjoyment. I will allow myself to live life on my terms, which some people call selfish. I see it as taking responsibility for my happiness.
Paradoxically, giving to myself will make me a better giver to others. After all, if I’m giving because I want to give rather than because I’m concerned about the consequences of not giving, the gift will be more nourishing for both the receiver and me. This is where I plan to stake my future. This is the change I intend to make – for me and for you!
Taking care of myself means saying “no” to a lot of wonderful things, but when I say “yes,” it will be a “hell yes!”