By Karen Winker
I recently read an article in The Wall Street Journal entitled, The Key to Caring for Aging Parents: Accept That You Can’t Fix Everything. It prompted me to think more broadly about caregiving—whether for an aging parent, a spouse, or even a child whose needs extend well beyond the scope of “normal” parenting. In every circumstance, caregiving is overwhelming, exhausting, emotionally fraught, and often physically demanding. For many, it is a role with little support and even less rest.
I have watched family members and friends navigate the challenges of caregiving. From Alzheimer’s and dementia to chronic illness and the natural process of aging, the toll can be immeasurable. A 2025 comprehensive report on caregiving in the U.S. estimates that 63 million Americans provide ongoing, complex care to adults or children with serious medical conditions or disabilities. Of those, 29% are “sandwich caregivers,” tending simultaneously to an adult and a minor child. How is this accomplishable? The answer is far too complex for this blog post, but it does highlight one component of caregiving that deeply intrigues me: emotional acceptance.
Caregivers cannot change the future. No matter the circumstances, effort, or sacrifice, what unfolds is largely outside their control. And for inheritors of significant wealth, this truth can be particularly challenging. There can be an unspoken expectation—internal or external—that with ample resources, problems should be solvable. That caregiving should be easier. That outcomes should be better. But even abundant means cannot insulate anyone from grief, uncertainty, or the emotional realities of caring for someone whose needs are changing.
For those without financial means, caregiving often requires shouldering an enormous weight without resources or respite. But what if you do have the financial ability to hire healthcare advocates, skilled nurses, companion care, household support, and more? Does this dramatically change the stress of caregiving? Wealth undoubtedly alleviates many physical demands and much of the time involved in coordinating care. Yet without emotional acceptance, it does not eliminate the weight of caregiving itself.
So, what does acceptance look like? It means acknowledging the grief of loss—loss of the relationship as it once was or the future you hoped would unfold. It means adapting to the present moment and releasing expectations. It means navigating what family therapist Pauline Boss describes as ambiguous loss: when a person is physically present but psychologically changed or absent. For many inheritors, acceptance can be particularly difficult because resources often provide solutions in other areas of life—but caregiving is a realm where control is inherently limited.
Individuals with significant wealth may be inclined to use financial resources to fulfill every aspect—especially the most exhausting ones—of caregiving. And while professional support is incredibly valuable, outsourcing every element of care can unintentionally create emotional distance or even guilt later on. Remaining personally involved, even in small but consistent ways, preserves connection. It honors the history of the relationship and keeps caregivers grounded in the humanity of the experience rather than the logistics. This presence ultimately strengthens long‑term emotional health for the entire family.
In the WSJ article, contributor Melissa Fisher is quoted as saying, “I showed up today as best as I could and I will try again tomorrow.” Regardless of resources, that is all any of us can do. Presence—not perfection—is what matters most.