Let's be honest - most Americans would choose suddenly acquiring large amounts of money over the alternative, which would be not suddenly becoming wealthy, assuming everything else was equal.
But everything else is not usually equal, and inheritors of large estates can find themselves with heavy challenges intertwined with their new wealth.
Jessica Foose, a 26-year old Boulder resident, knew while growing up that she had a wealthy grandfather, and her mother inherited a healthy sum when her grandfather passed away.
"When he died, my mother was dealing with all of the legal stuff, and I watched her deal with it but I didn't see the results, because it was tied up in estate and probate," said Foose.
Then came the second part of a double whammy.
Foose's mother died just eight months after her grandfather died, and Foose said her grandfather's estate hadn't been settled and her own estate planning hadn't been completed.
"And the tricky part was I couldn't find a signed will for my mother," said Foose. "I'm convinced it was out there somewhere, but I couldn't find it because she'd never told me where it was."
Don't worry - Foose didn't lose the family fortune.
But she said she wasn't fully prepared to deal with the estates or the lawyers, accountants and various advisors needed to manage her new situation at the time of her mother's death.
She turned to Myra Salzer, who founded the Boulder-based company The Wealth Conservancy in 1983, for help.
Salzer specializes in guiding inheritors through not only the legal/financial issues involved with coming into big money, but also psychological and lifestyle factors associated with major changes in financial status.
The financial gains of a big inheritance, first of all, often run a parallel course with the pain felt after the death of a loved one or at least a distant relative.
And in the case of young inheritors, sudden money often creates sudden differentiation. The new millionaire doesn't need to eat Ramen noodles, doesn't need second-hand clothes or a used car, doesn't need to live in an overcrowded and substandard apartment, and might not really even need a job.
Salzer, who recently authored a book called "The Inheritor's Sherpa: A Life-Summiting Guide for Inheritors," said many people with major inheritances really learn that they are 'different' when they attend college for the first time.
"Up until then, many of them have probably been in prep schools," said Salzer. "They've been surrounded by people in similar circumstances, and so they don't realize they're unique until they have a friend or roommate who can't go out for pizza with them because they can't afford it."
Salzer said extremely wealthy college students might decide to radically change portions of their behaviors or appearances in order to better fit in with the less financially fortunate.
"They discover that the real world has an attitude about money and about inheritors, and about not having to work for money and about how unfair they think that is," said Salzer. "The inheritor might learn to hide or be in denial of the money. They might sell the BMW and buy a beater car that will be more in alignment with being a college student."
Yes, she said denial - of a condition she lightheartedly referred to as "affluenza" after being asked by the Daily about the existence of "Trustafarians" in Boulder.
Salzer describes denial in "Sherpa" as the second of five phases a typical inheritor goes through after having money drop into his or her lap.
First, she said inheritors go through an "Innocence" stage, where people believe they enjoy total abundance and have yet to be told "no" to any of their requests or desires.
"Most of us get out of that stage when we're children and we want that new tricycle but have to settle for a hand-me-down," said Salzer. "But someone who's been raised in an affluent environment may never have gotten out of that."
She said students or young adults in the "denial" stage not only modify their behavior in attempts to fit in - they can neglect the responsibilities of estate management.
"They're not opening their bank statements or their brokerage statements, and they don't understand the terms of their trust," said Salzer. "They don't know who their partners are and the family office is dealing with everything, or perhaps a trustee."
She said the inheritor might not move forward financially and/or emotionally before reaching her third phase, called "Ignorant Acceptance," where the wealthy one begins to explore what they really have and what it means to them.
"But they often feel a real sense of scarcity," said Salzer. "They don't know if they can treat other people to dinner or get tickets for the ball game. There's a fear around spending, but this is a stage when they normally start to learn and find they need a wealth coach - a fiduciary."
In short, a fiduciary is legally bound not to misappropriate a client's money for personal gain, and Salzer said the word should be part of an inheritor's vocabulary.
"If you can't get an advisor to sign that they agree to be a fiduciary, they absolutely should not be considering that relationship as a trusted advisor," said Salzer.
Foose admitted she didn't know what a fiduciary was before talking with Salzer, for example.
In Salzer's fourth stage, "Learning/Growing," the inheritor begins to gain familiarity and the ability to make at least some informed decisions about how to manage the wealth.
"When they get to the fifth, 'Integrated Authority,' they can delegate the responsibilities of wealth that aren't of interest to them so they are freed up to pursue interests," said Salzer.
And the interests can be enormous in scope. Non-inheritors can take a respectful moment here to imagine the time freed up by not needing to work after class or take a second job to pay rent or a mortgage.
Salzer said young inheritors can actually develop "amplified personalities" because they have time to focus on what comes naturally.
"If they tend to be intellectual, they can go to school and study all their lives," said Salzer. "Or if they're curious, they can travel the world forever. If they're hypochondriacs, they can be fabulous hypochondriacs."
She also said some inheritors can exhibit "delayed maturity," especially if they grew up having many tasks and responsibilities taken care of for them.
"For example, they may not have had to apply for college," said Salzer. "Just the act of applying for college vs. having your father buy a wing for the science department and getting in that way, never knowing if they could have gotten in on their own - it doesn't support high self-esteem and maturity."
But she also said a young inheritor generally has an entire life ahead of them and can learn to create something to be proud of if they have a sense of direction.
Those with time to trek with Salzer's "Sherpa" might find that the sense of direction course is not simply set by deciding career or financial objectives. Her book touches on evaluating personal relationships, time management, interpersonal power dynamics, overcoming disappointments, preserving family wealth for future generations and how to identify goals and/or passions in life.
Foose is a fifth-year business student who spent two years at CU, and said Salzer gave her small assignments geared towards helping her take responsibility for her own wealth at the start of their relationship.
"Now, she gives me bigger projects and they wind up being months and months long, because I had to settle two estates," said Foose.
She also said she receives quite a bit of help from other employees at The Wealth Conservancy, and Salzer said part of her job is to make sure her clients' overall success is at least partially due to a coordinated effort from a Conservancy "hub" of advisors and connections.
Yet there's a real world outside of the Conservancy office.
Salzer's book touches on the possible difficulties a wealthy person might face when confronted with requests for loans, gifts or just picking up the tab for dinner and drinks from those struggling to make ends meet.
Foose said she doesn't believe she has "false friends" interested in her acquaintance simply for money.
But she said there was a learning curve associated with sharing money with her husband, especially since she got married just three months after her mother's death.
"For him, the money was very black and white, very non-emotional," said Foose. "For me, there was and still is emotion written all over it."
And attempts to get Foose to admit to over-the-top, extravagant spending proved futile. She did say she likes to go to movies more than her friends do, she buys designer jeans and often gets her house and car cleaned instead of doing the tasks herself.
Foose said she interacts with other inheritors, and she said most people probably do as well "without even knowing it." She offered one simple piece of advice.
"Know where the will is and make sure it's signed, even though that's a hard conversation to have," said Foose. "It makes it emotionally and logistically easier when it comes."
And Salzer had one request in conclusion.
"I hope readers don't make judgements about inheritors, and I hope inheritors give themselves permission to be one," said Salzer. "You're not alone."
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